It's all in a name?

Okay - I have really had it now. After months and months of biting my tongue and taking it - I finally have to vent. WTF is up with all the Ed Hardy Merchandise? Do you people even know who Ed Hardy is? Do you even give a shit? NO! You don't. You just want to be fashionable and "hip" in you skull and top hat hand bag. Screw you people! For those of your in the know I don't have to explain but for your johnny come lately' I will give you a lesson OMP style.

Ed Hardy is essentially the Godfather/grandfather of the modern day Tattoo & Tattoo style. His flash art is the basis for a lot if what is hanging on Tattoo parlor wall today (along with Sailor Jerry since Hardy studied under Jerry). Hardy incorporated/introduced pop images and the Japanese Tattoo style into western world. Now his name and images are EVERYWHERE!!!! High end clothes, shoes, hand bags, hell I even saw Ed Hardy Pee Chees at Target the other day.

I am really getting fed up with the popularization of underground Icons. The people buying the crap first off don't give a flying rip about you - they are buying a name to plaster on their bodies so they can look good and incase anybody asks who you're wearing they can spout off "Ed Hardy"! Second of all - you really think any of these vacuous turds have a Tattoo? Oh I am sure they have thought about it but poor mommy or daddy would probably cut off their trust fund if they even got a dot permanently affixed to their bodies.

This rant also extends to the heartless bastards the plastered Von Dutch's name all over their ass expensive shit ($50.00 for a Baseball hat? Are fucking kidding me?). Do you even have a clue WHO Von Dutch was? He was another ground breaker in the underground/outsider art arena . He took automotive pin-striping to the next level. This man was a god when he had a brush in his hand — but unfortunately he hit hard times and didn't fair to well later in his life. Now some ass clown is sitting on a ton of money using his name.

Thank god they haven't glorified and pumped up one of my hero's names - Ed "Big Daddy" Roth. I see stuff out there but it is not exploited like the other two people mentioned above.

So where am I going with this? Can't really say - and I am sure no one is listening anyway. Screw Capitalism and your money grubbing fashion sense. I hope you choke on one of your own "Creations" (because you didn't think the shit up in the first place, you hacks)!

Wow - it has been over a month since my last entry. I guess depression will do that to you! Not to much to be angry about right now - suns out so my body must be making my much needed Vitamin D. Hope you all are planning on having a fun filled Summer - stick around - I am sure I will get pissed off about something very soon.

Saying goodbye!

I have just got back from taking my little man to the vet for the very last time. I had him for almost 17 years and got him when he was just 7 weeks old. We had our times butting heads together - He was thinking he was the leader of the pack when in actuality I was. Lots of fun times, lots of knock down drag oust. I have a scar on my right fore arm from one little skirmishes and everytime I look at it I will think of you wiener! I hope you are in a place where you can find peace and all you have to do is lay around in the sun, eating chicken and cheese all day long.

God speed Kato - I love you and will miss you forever!  

This just in!

Another batch of "What were they thinking" TV commercials!!

1. Newest BK commercial: Sponge Bob promo using BABY GOT BACK!!! by Sir Mix Alot. Not only is this one of the weirdest commercials out there it has the man himself (SMA) making a cameo in it. Here's the rub - it is selling the kids meals with Sponge Bob toys in them - haven't seen it any earlier then 8 pm on the TV. So they are aiming the campaign toward the money - parents. Jut one big WTF were they thinking?

2. Hillshire Farms - Say Meat campaign. One of the most annoying out there - I am surprised I forgot about it my first go around. If you have seen it you know the commercial - for those of you who haven't, I will spare you the description. It is downright annoying! I say "It sucks!" you say "How bad"?

3. Quiznos new Torpedo Sandwich ad - First time I saw it I was mildly amused, now it is downright offensive. Here's the set up: a talking oven, a young svelt man-boy cook short on brains and lots of sexual innuendo. Oh yeah - their selling sandwiches??

4. Geico - The Money you can be saving campaign! People in different situations with a stack of bills with two BIG googley eyes on top. First off - the people in the ads are so stupid, they do not deserve to be given any savings on insurance! They need to be taken for every cent they have and left to the State to decide what to do with them. Second - Geico probably paid a large sum of money to use the song - "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell (background vocals by pervy Mike Jackson) and are basically wasting the song using it in the outro background. Get a new idea/agency Geico! - the Gecko was better then this as well as the Cavemen (whom became 'uber annoying after awhile!). Somebody's watching alright - watching me turn the channel during your commercials! 

More to come in the near future as more inane ads are rolled out. Stay tuned!

Stimulate this (middle finger extended)!!!!

Warning: I am angry and will be swearing!!!!

Okay - am I the only one getting fed up with douche bags using the word STIMULUS? I get it - we are in a recession, we need to stimulate the economy. But now every Tom, Dick and fucking Harry out in the advertising world (see how I bring this around to the last post?) has latched onto the latest BUZZ word and is using it for everything from Fast Food to software? - Yes software! This is what prompted this posting - I received an unsolicited e-mails (ie: SPAM) and it asks if I want to get in on the Software Stimulus going on now - and it has a big old picture of the Star and Stripes in the background.

And one other thing tied into all this - we all know things are bad out there and people are pinching their pennies harder then ever (careful BTW - you can get metal poisoning - saw it on the Simpsons!). Seems like every major chain is now offering up STIMULUS pricing to get you in the door. Bargain food and lots of crappy stuff we don't need! WOW - maybe you assholes should of though of that before this all happened and offered up your cheap shitty merchandise/food for less and maybe we wouldn't be in as much of a shitstorm as we are now! I am not saying that is the cause of all this (as we know it was a lot of really crappy underhanded financial investments) but if people had more money in their pockets they would of maybe frequented you establishments more often raising your bottom line.

Now take you fucking 2 massive heart attack burgers (uuuuullllllllgggh...... burger so good)  and shove it in a Clown hole - your pick which one!  

So endeth the rant! 

As seen on TV!!

Okay - I will admit it here in print - I am a advertising junkie! I love a good commercial, print ad and even a well done billboard - preferably vintage!

 So in a new on going effort to let the advertising agencies out there know what is working and what is not  - like any of them are reading my little old blog anyway - I am going to let you know what I think really sucks out there in advertising land.

First up - ANY Burger King ad in the last 5 years or so. I am not sure who the hell they are hiring to do their advertising all these years but I can't remember the last BK commercial I have enjoyed. The Big headed King is creepy as hell - especially one of the newer ones where he goes home and the little kid has the big king head on. Also the new "Hot Onions" with the farmer torturing his single lone Onion in the field is actually really disturbing. We can go back a little ways also - the Cock Rock Chicken Ads from a couple years ago? WTF? The Burger Family? Eh.....

Carls Jr. - ditch the don't bother me I am eating campaign! It grosses me out to watch people eating your greasy shit on TV. Also - the fake restaurant ones you were running a few months back - where did you find the mentally handicapped people you had on there? Round them up at the local Sanitarium? And that also goes for the current Pizza Hut Pasta Commercials - they are the exact same formula and result. People go into a FAKE restaurant and eat the pre-made food and then are surprised that it is from Ta Dah! - from Carls' Jr. or Pizza Hut. And NO I do not believe you flew that crappy food over to Italy and fooled a bunch of Italians into thinking it was GOOD!  

The winner of the most recent gross out in advertising award goes to Boost Mobil, a pay as you go company in the cellular phone game. TWO of the your recent advertising forays really are revolting! First off - you have an innocent scene with a girl and guy riding a Tandem bike down a nice quiet neighborhood - she's talking about her phone and the guy if eating her long red hair blowing in his face as they ride - upon further examination - he is spitting out long red hair from her ARMPIT!! Ewww! The second one - Two animatronic pigs are seated at a table eating dinner in a nice restaurant - One pig is talking about his phone (not sure pigs can dial with out thumbs) and then you look at what the pigs are eating and they are having a HAM dinner. Great just what I want to teach my kids - Cannibalism!

Those are just some of the TV commercials I have seen recently that really have bothered me (ie: I thought they sucked a high hard one). I guarantee in this world of consumption there will be a whole new batch coming down the pike soon. And rest assured - I will be here bitching about it!        

Am I that old?

So my old faithful SONY Stereo receiver has finally seen the end of it's long life. Now keep in mind I have had this little gem since before SONY became the multinational Multi-media conglomerate that it is today. As a matter of fact this was purchased by me during the advent of CD's way back in the early 80's. But my old receiver is not the story here - trying to FIND a new STEREO receiver is. 

So - using my head (what there is left of it) I thought I would try to save some money and go to (the now closed) Circuit City liquidation sale. Now I went during the initial phase in of the sale when the clearance prices were on par with a New Years day sale - 20% off. I looked and looked and could not for the life of me find a plain old receiver. All the ones made today are geared for 5 to 1 stereo surround sound, blow your homes windows out during the gun fight sequence, taking place on your TV screen. I simply want to be able to plug it in, hook up my turntable (yes I still play vinyl) or play CD's down in the old Drum Studio in the basement. I left feeling old. 

This got me to thinking about all the things we all take for granted these days. Technological marvels we use every day that didn't exist even 10 years ago. First off the Cell phones - we all have them (well most of us) and how often do you sit back and marvel at the technology that exists in your pocket? Probably never - your too busy talking to your friends about NOTHING!!! No? Take a look the next time your driving or walking in public - Complete cell phone bubbles. Second - GPS units. With these little babies whole industries are being wiped out - mainly map selling business like Gas Stations - which I have a theory here -  is the reason gas prices have gone up so much - GPS was cutting into the map money side of the business.  Then there is the old Internet/Computers fade that seems to be happening these days. I know I go through withdrawal's when I can't check my e-mail on a bi-minute basis!! Heaven forbid I take a day off and do something away from the house - I come back and my box is so full it takes me a hour to get it back to normal. 

So instead of taking it all for granted - take a minute and think about what a great time we live in. Hell - when I was a kid all this type of stuff only existed in Dick Tracy comics and in Sci-Fi movies. Now off to the thrift store to find a good old fashioned stereo receiver!